Sunday, February 24, 2008

Day 765: Pity...Emotional Eating's Favourite Friend.

"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the nonpharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality." ~ John W. Gardner

Over the last few days my cold hasn't improved.....it's actually gotten worse. Shortly after my last post I exercised, had a warm bath and then went to bed. Ever since then things have kinda been downhill. I haven't exercised over the last 2 days..... in fact I haven't done much of anything, besides loaf around.

I'm not looking for sympathy, far from it (Sherri's taking very good care of me)... I just wanted to put you in my frame of mind.

Around 3pm today I had a craving for wings....plump juicy chicken wings. The following 20 seconds scrolled through my mind: I wonder if we have any in the freezer? Probably not, we finished off all that sorta stuff before we started eating better. Maybe I should go pick some up from the grocery store? I'm too tired to go outside. Maybe Sherri could go? Naaaa..... it's snowing like crazy out there. Hmmm.... maybe we could have something else instead. Maybe we could order in? Then again... Maybe this is just a craving?

I ran (well dragged my butt) back downstairs and told Sherri that I had a craving for wings.... but not only did I have a craving, but it was the first one I can remember having since we started eating well. That's almost a month ago.

Eventually, after my craving came and went I decided to have a healthy snack around 4pm. Around 6pm we had a healthy meal that Sherri prepared. I ended up having a second portion of the main dish, which I seldom do recently.

Less than an hour later, I was hungry and craving nachos. I remember thinking "I should have a healthier snack", and so I started scouring my mind for other alternatives that I could eat instead.

And then....

A little voice trying to fight past all the food images said "Are you sure you're hungry? You only ate an hour ago". Hearing the faint voice I started to think a little clearer; "you know I shouldn't be hungry. It is only an hour since I ate. And I had a second helping. Maybe I'm not hungry. Maybe it's just a craving.

Happy with myself for not giving into temptation I almost left it at that.....but I didn't. That little voice said "Maybe it's not just another craving". I had yet another internal conversation with myself; "you know this is my second craving for the day, and it has been a long time since I've had any at all. Maybe I'm just having a bad day. Maybe it's because I'm sick."

STOP THE PRESS!

I'm not just craving food! I'm sick, I'm feeling sorry for myself, and I'm trying to make myself feel better with food. I'm not eating out of hunger or necessity, I'm eating to fulfill an emotional need to feel better!

Today marks the very first time that I was able to come to this conclusion before eating, as opposed to later that day, the next day or the following week. I managed to thwart one of my biggest struggles with food on one of my weakest days, since returning to my healthy lifestyle.

Not a bad day........... now if I can just get over this dang cold.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Kim Ayres said...

That's a fantastic set of realisations - a true step forward!

Superb :)

6:57 AM  
Blogger BryGuy said...

Thanks Kim

6:21 PM  

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